I planned my suicide after my GP misdiagnosed me – turns out I wasn’t depressed

WHEN Andrea Newton found herself planning her suicide at the age of 52, she couldn’t believe that just a few years before she was a happy, successful mum-of-one without a mental health problem to list.

Despite numerous visits to her GP describing common symptoms of menopause, Andrea says he doctor was unable to identify her issues as hormonal and instead was told she was clinically depressed.

After a failed suicide attempt Andrea, now 56, was handed leaflets on counselling and told she could join a waiting list of six to eight months.

It was only after hearing about menopause in the news that Andrea self-diagnosed her years of turmoil and, after booking herself in a private appointment with a women’s health specialist GP, had her suspicions confirmed.

She wasn’t suffering clinical depression, she was suffering the symptoms of menopause, which can include mental health illnesses.

Andrea, a corporate trainer and podcaster from Cheshire, was prescribed menopause treatment HRT, and says: “Within two weeks of taking it I felt like a new woman.

“I got my first good night’s sleep in years, the anxiety was easing and I felt like I could feel again.

“Although I am so relieved and happy to have my life back, I can’t help but feel angry about how things went with my treatment.

“I explained to my GP multiple times that I was experiencing confusion, brain fog, low mood and insomnia – all (I now know) are common symptoms of menopause, but all I was given was antidepressants, over and over again, even when things didn’t get better.

“I nearly lost my life, completely needlessly, and what angers me most is that this is still happening to women now.

“I just want to share my story in the hope that someone else might read this and it might save their life.”

To talk about anything that is upsetting you, you can contact Samaritans 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Call for free – 116 123.

Too many fobbed off

Andrea is just one of an increasing number of woman who has found themselves fobbed off with antidepressants instead of menopause treatment.

Menopause has never been more talked about than now, with the Fabulous Menopause Matters campaign helping bring awareness to what is experienced by half the population in their lifetime. 

But despite the huge surge in conversations about the hormonal change, women are still being wrongly prescribed antidepressants by their GPs which are often making their symptoms worse.

New research has found that over a third of women booking appointments with their GP with symptoms of menopause are being offered antidepressants.

The study, from What Women Want at Menopause, also uncovered that over 80 per cent of those women feel antidepressants are an “inappropriate” treatment for the symptoms they are suffering.

A staggering 84 per cent of women said their doctor failed to sufficiently answer their questions, and only three in ten were satisfied with the help they got from their GP.

Women feel they cannot trust the GPs to support them, with nearly 40 per cent of saying they chose not to approach their doctor for help to treat menopause symptoms – something Andrea wishes she hadn’t done when menopause struck in 2017.

Andrea, mum to Jarad, 26, says: “Nothing prepared me for what going through the menopause would be.

“At age 49 I was going through a pretty terrible divorce from my first husband and, as a result, I was experiencing high levels of stress.

“It wasn’t a particularly easy time in my life but when I started experiencing symptoms of poor mental health, I didn’t assume it had to do with my divorce.

“Unfortunately, others did.”

Andrea had for months been feeling low, had become forgetful, anxious and “slow”.

She had brain frog, sleepless nights, confusion and had “lost herself”.

When Andrea’s GP immediately linked her symptoms to her stressful divorce and prescribed antidepressants, she recalled: “I was quite shocked. I didn’t feel like what I was experiencing was because of my divorce, but I trusted my GP.”

About a year after my first visit to the GP, my memory was so bad I worried I was experiencing early onset dementia

Andrea

Andrea felt worse over the following months and booked in to see her GP again.

“This time I left with not just the same prescription, but a further two prescriptions, this time adding diazepam and propranolol to my daily pill list,” she said.

“Again, I was surprised. I had only suffered with depression once before in my life, postnatal depression straight after the birth of my son.

“I knew what that felt like, and wondered if this too could be linked to hormonal changes.

“I asked my GP and they agreed to do a blood test that is supposed to indicate menopause.

“It came back negative, and only now do I know that those tests are no longer used because of the severe inaccuracy.”

Blood tests are usually only taken if a woman is experiencing menopause symptoms earlier than normal.

Hormones are up and down in the lead up to menopause – sometimes for years – and therefore may be hard for doctors to make accurate assumptions. 

Andrea said: “I felt like the drugs had made things worse, but the doctor seemed confident that adding to my medications would help me, and I was becoming desperate, so I began taking them.”

‘Hardest mental health challenge’

Andrea says as the months went on “I was losing myself completely”.

“I felt empty,” she says.

“I couldn’t remember words, my self-esteem went out the window and I couldn’t find reason to get out of bed.

“About a year after my first visit to the GP, my memory was so bad I worried I was experiencing early onset dementia.

“Slowly, life simply wasn’t worth living.”

It was when Andrea was 52, two years after first experiencing symptoms, that she decided to take her own life – saved by her dog.

She says: “I had gone out to drop off some flowers at a friend’s house for her birthday.

“I arrived and she had family round to celebrate and although she was grateful for me dropping by, I couldn’t go inside.

“It seems so completely tiny now, but that small moment was what tipped me over the edge.

“I felt like I was such a burden on everyone, that I was so miserable now that no one wanted to have me around.

“I had a plan in my head of how I was going to do it, and began on my way to follow it through, but it was my dog that stopped me.

“Having him with me at the time, I realised ‘I can’t do it now, what will happen to the dog?’

“It was the hardest mental challenge of my life to fight against the urge to end it.”

Andrea didn’t get any better over the next two years, suffering panic attacks, anxiety and terribly low mood.

Despite starting a new relationship with now-husband Kevan, 56, Andrea says: “I’d met this incredible man, and I knew I was in love, but I was so numb and confused I was unable to feel that joy that a new relationship brings.

“I knew he felt helpless too, and so did my friends, but we didn’t know what to do.”

It was in 2021 when Andrea was watching TV and saw a news report on menopause that everything changed.

She says: “I was sat listening to women describe these symptoms and I just felt like they were describing exactly what I had been going through.

“I couldn’t believe it. I was in the exact age bracket for menopause and showing all the symptoms – how could my GP not have thought of this?

“I started researching online and very quickly found a local private specialist and booked myself an appointment.

“I’d barely started describing my story in full when she told me it was very obviously menopause that was causing my suffering and that she suggested an immediate course of HRT drugs.”

A year later Andrea’s entire life had changed. She was back in work, her old confident self and was able to get married.

She says: “I never imagined I’d feel happiness like that again.

“I can’t describe how I did on my wedding day. [24th June 2023]

“I had glittery shoes and a beautiful dress, I felt the love of my friends and family, I danced like I’d never danced before and I had the joy of being in love, and feeling it.

“I just feel so lucky that I was able to get the treatment I needed.

“I still have anger that I suffered for a long time, and I know that others do to, but I now make it my mission to talk about it as much as possible to stop others from going through the same.

“I have a podcast called Really Useful Conversations and a website of the same name, both of which encourage conversation around this topic and mental health in general and it’s this that helps me let go of the anger and focus on helping others.”