As pro golf returns to Raleigh this week, emotions raw following Grayson Murray’s death

Editor’s note: This story contains references to self-harm. If you are in a mental health crisis, help is available in the United States via the national suicide and crisis lifeline 988 or online at 988lifeline.org.

The past few mornings, Carter Jenkins said he has awakened with the same troubling thought about Grayson Murray.

“I’ve opened my eyes and I knew he didn’t,” Jenkins said Tuesday.

Murray, who died late last week, and Jenkins were good friends. They played golf together for so many years, two Raleigh kids who liked to tee it up all day when they could, trading and matching shots.

They were high school teammates at Leesville Road and always friendly golf competitors, whether in a putting contest on a country club green or years later on the back nine of a professional golf tournament with much at stake.

Jenkins said he ran into Murray a few weeks ago at Raleigh’s Wildwood Green Golf Club, where both were weaned on the sport as teenagers.

“I asked him about the Masters and the U.S. Open he was going to be in and how he was playing,” Jenkins said.

As a playoff winner of the PGA Tour’s Sony Open in Hawaii in January, Murray had qualified for his first Masters appearance this year and was set for the 2024 U.S. Open in Pinehurst next month.

“It was just a friendly, casual conversation, back and forth,” Jenkins said. “I didn’t expect it to be the last.”

Sadly, it was.

Murray, after withdrawing Friday from the Charles Schwab Challenge at Colonial in Fort Worth, Texas, took his own life, his parents have acknowledged.

Murray was 30, two years older than Jenkins.

Return trip home brings strong emotions

Jenkins is competing this week in the UNC Healthcare Championship, the Korn Ferry Tour event at Raleigh Country Club. Jenkins and Murray played many rounds at Raleigh CC, leading to some emotional moments Tuesday as Jenkins stood near the practice range — tour players behind him going about their normal golf business — and reflected on Murray’s death and their friendship.

“When I first got the news, I didn’t really know what to think,” Jenkins said. “It was a little bit of an outer-body experience more than anything else. I sat there for about five minutes, didn’t really know how to react to it.

“As the days have gone on, it’s gotten more and more real, which makes it harder and harder. Especially being home this week at Raleigh Country Club. Every time I step on the property, it brings back what we used to do when we were in high school and when we were both out here.”

Jenkins paused for a few seconds, adding, “It makes it harder to wrap your head around the fact he’s not here any longer. You have to accept that.

“He left a mark here in Raleigh everyone will remember, that’s for sure. He will be sorely missed, but I know he’s at peace with himself now.”

Finding peace always seemed so hard for Murray, who battled alcoholism and depression. He could be volatile on the course and make news off it.

This was no milquetoast pro golfer. He was opinionated and outspoken, whether in discussing Donald Trump or the COVID-19 vaccine, feuding on social media with tour player Kevin Na (now on the LIV Tour) or more recently advocating changes the PGA Tour needed to make concerning improving mental health.

“He was true to himself,” Jenkins said. “He was not afraid to be himself.”

Murray scolded Rory McIlroy at a players meeting last year in Canada and took issue with PGA Tour commissioner Jay Monahan over the proposed merger with the Saudi Public Investment Fund (PIF) that came as a surprise to the players and angered many.

Murray told Monahan he “lied to our face.” McIlory spoke up and told Murray to “just play better.” Murray let McIlroy have it.

‘Everyone has demons’

That was one side of Murray, Jenkins said. He could be combative and would not back down or back off on his beliefs. He also could be understanding and supportive, Jenkins said.

“For as well-documented as his troubles have been, I think the positive impact he had on people when he was around them, the passion he had for the game that he loved, and that was all he ever wanted to do, leaves a bigger mark.

“Because everyone has troubles. Everyone has demons. He took his demons and was still able to have a phenomenal career and a phenomenal life with them. … He was so comfortable in being who he was and made everyone else around him better for that.”

A year ago, Murray competed a lot on the Korn Ferry Tour, confident he would be on the PGA Tour full time in 2024. He couldn’t hold a lead over the final nine holes of the UNC Healthcare Championship, finishing second at Raleigh CC, but later stood patiently in the clubhouse and answered questions about his round.

Murray, who said he was a recovering alcoholic, proudly noted he had then been sober for more than 30 days, joking that his father, Eric, said he had made a lot of birdies in that time.

“I keep talking about perspective,” Murray said. “It’s just a game. I’m happy where my game is at and I’m looking forward to the summer.”

A few months later, Jenkins was in contention in the final round of the Simmons Bank Open for the Snedeker Foundation near Nashville, Tennessee. But Murray surged from behind with a 66 to win in a duel with Jenkins reminiscent of the “old days” at Wildwood Green, or the junior events at Wakefield.

“When Grayson got a sniff of the lead he was tough to beat,” Jenkins said.

Both Jenkins and Murray won junior qualifiers to earn a spot in the field for what was then the Rex Hospital Open at the Country Club at Wakefield Plantation. Murray made the 36-hole cut – at 16, the second-youngest to do it on the secondary tour. Murray later caddied for Jenkins when Jenkins beat him out for the spot in the qualifier.

“We were just a couple of teenage kids out there playing among these pros and having a good time,” Jenkins said, smiling.

They stayed in touch as best they could. Murray was engaged to be married. He was a winner on the big tour again. He was financially secure.

“Grayson was so solid and so grounded and he had gotten his life so back together,” Jenkins said. “To have this devastating event happen, I’m still trying to come to terms with it.

“It’s going to make this week hard. But I’m going to enjoy it and I’m going to embrace all the fond memories I have of him.”