Is it Weird to Travel Solo While in a Relationship?

The numbers of solo female travellers is rising every year, yet so many attitudes towards women travelling alone remain archaic. As a woman who has been travelling solo for a decade, and in that time has had two long-term relationships, I find myself questioning – is it weird for me to travel solo and leave my partner at home? Or is it the sign of a healthy relationship that empowers me to seek adventure both by my partner’s side and solo?

“Is it safe for you to travel without your partner?” ask some.

“But, don’t you miss him?” say others.

These questions have become the soundtrack to my travels, an ongoing fascination from the people I meet that I could possibly enjoy travelling without a man by my side.

I was recently interviewed by the BBC and one of the questions put to me by the presenter was – “but wouldn’t you enjoy your travel experiences more if you shared them with your partner?” For those who have only ever travelled with others, I can understand this more traditional view that life experiences are to be shared and celebrated together. After all, we humans crave and seek connection.

But this is no different when travelling solo, it simply manifests in different ways. Of course, if you have a partner at home, you will miss them when you are travelling solo. But these solo trips are also an opportunity for a unique adventure, one that will challenge you and push you outside your comfort zone. I’ve always found that solo travel has been the biggest catalyst for my personal growth and this is because I am forced to face these challenges solo. The self-reliance and resilience you discover when nothing goes to plan and you have to figure things out alone are life skills that will continue to serve you in every aspect of life when you return home.

There is also a real misconception that travelling alone means being constantly alone, when in fact it has been during my solo travels when I have made some of the greatest friendships in my life. There’s something about being pushed outside your comfort zone that really drives you to connect with others. I’ve found as a solo female traveller that both locals and other travellers are always quick to reach out to try to help you, to support you or even just to make friends. It’s something I experience every day of my solo travels, but I find it rarely happens when I travel with a partner.

These days, we choose our relationships based on connection, respect and support for one another’s dreams…

There are many countries where I’ve found that as a mixed race woman, many people will actually speak over me to my partner instead of treating me as an individual. Travelling alone helps me to reclaim my individuality and feel empowered as a woman.

Several surveys released this year have shown a notable rise in the number of solo female travellers and women travelling worldwide. Travel organisation, Road Scholar, reported that 85% of solo travellers are women. They also revealed that 60% of their solo travellers in 2022 were married but travelling without their partner. Condor Ferries shared that 64% of travellers worldwide are women and that there has been a 42% increase in solo traveller bookings over the last two years. With such vast numbers of women exploring the world solo, it makes sense that many of these women could also be in relationships or even married but are still choosing to explore the world solo.

I know that I am not alone in this; women travel solo and leave their partners at home for many reasons. Often work can become a factor, too. While I work full time as a solo travel blogger and writer, my partner is an accountant and has limited annual leave. So that leaves me with the option of limiting my travel and my own business, or simply travelling without him at times which is what I choose to do. It also means that when we travel together, it is a holiday and not simply a work trip.

For others, it might be the trip of a lifetime that they have dreamed of taking one day  but perhaps their partner does not like to travel as much, or perhaps they have different interests, or physical abilities. I plan to take my dream trip to India later this year. It’s a solo trip I have been dreaming of for years, long before my partner and I were together. My partner has no interest in going and has encouraged me to take the trip – so is it weird for me to travel to India without him?

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Once upon a time, it would have been strange for women to travel alone and to not have their partner or husband by their side. But perhaps we need to interrogate our preconceptions and ask ourselves whether this is simply interlinked to outdated ideas of ownership? We live in a time when women have careers, disposable income and, perhaps, don’t need the security of relationships like they once did. These days we choose our relationships based on connection, respect and support for one another’s dreams. So is it merely a sign of a healthy, connected relationship that a couple can survive across different time zones while you chase your travel dreams?

When we live in an era of Facetime, Whatsapp and free wifi, there are endless ways to connect with your partner at the tap of a button. So, does the physical distance really matter?

At a recent talk I gave on solo travel, I was interested to find a new wave of women in the 35-55 age bracket who were eager to try solo travel. Some were in relationships or married, others were recently separated or divorced. But the one thing that tied this group of women together was their zest for chasing an adventure that they felt had not been an option for them earlier in life. More often than not, women in families or relationships are the travel planners pulling together itineraries and researching the next holiday. So the skills are already there for the initial stages of organising a solo trip. Often it is merely building your confidence as a solo traveller that provides the first challenge.

I find that my lone adventures have enriched our relationship and given us the time and space to grow as individuals as well as together.

The opportunity for solo travel has become more accessible than ever before with entire companies cultivating unique offers for lone travellers, group trips designed for solo travellers to meet other like-minded folk, or even travel insurance policies designed for long-term solo travellers. Many of these didn’t exist when I started solo travelling a decade ago, but this natural shift is exciting and is inspiring a new wave of solo travellers who are taking on the world one adventure at a time.

Yes they may be leaving their partners at home to experience the world – but is it really that weird to take the opportunity to experience the world around us?

As someone who lived nomadically for the best part of a decade, there’s something really special about getting to travel the world solo and then returning to my partner in our own home and unpacking my bags. If anything, I find that my lone adventures have enriched our relationship and given us the time and space to grow as individuals as well as together. After every trip, I’m always so excited to share my adventures with my partner, and to plan our next trip together.

Every relationship is different, but if the person you love doesn’t allow you to be true to yourself and chase the things that excite you the most – isn’t that weirder than travelling alone?

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