‘You see a lot of unfairness’: Irish in Dubai describe parallel lives

The experience of thousands of Irish people living in Dubai varies greatly – from love of the “desert city” lifestyle to relief at the prospect of returning to Ireland.

This was evident from several Irish citizens who spoke to The Irish Times this week. Some praised career opportunities in the United Arab Emirates (UAE) and a quality of life not typically available at home. But others described heavy surveillance, “unfair” police, and a deeply ingrained class system.

The treatment of Roscommon woman Tori Towey (28) has raised fresh questions about how safe Dubai is for expats, especially women. The Emirates airline cabin crew worker had been banned from leaving the UAE city after being charged with attempted suicide and illegally consuming alcohol. She arrived back in Ireland on Thursday after the charges were dropped and the travel ban on her was lifted.

“You see a lot of unfairness over there. [The locals] were the first-class citizens, we, the westerners, were the second-class citizens, and then non-EU migrant workers were third-class citizens, it’s very stratified,” said Colm, a teacher who returned home to Ireland after living in Dubai for several years.

He was just one of several to describe a class system which places “deference” on white Europeans above non-EU migrants who are “paid peanuts”.

Expats in general also try to avoid dealing with the authorities, who often do not listen to “any sense or reason”, he added. “If you get on the wrong side of the police, freedom and fairness are not to be taken for granted,” he said.

Wayne Lawlor’s experience of living in the UAE has been overwhelmingly positive.

Originally from Co Laois, the 38 year old had been holidaying in Dubai for years before deciding to move there in 2024. Hailing the “vibrant networking scene” in the UAE – where an estimated 10,000 Irish people live – he manages communications businesses both in Ireland and in Dubai.

“I think Dubai means something different to everyone. People who never visited have this idea that it’s a nasty place but really, it’s a land of opportunity,” he said.

John Nolan (64) returned to Ireland several years ago after working as a teacher and principal in the UAE for more than three decades.

In that space of time, he lived and worked in Abu Dhabi, Sharjah and Dubai, which he described as the “most liberal Emirate” by far.

Mr Nolan said he recruited many teachers from Ireland and the UK over the years, some of whom had concerns about cohabiting with partners or being LGBT+. “In the 32 years I had there, nobody ever experienced legal issues,” he said, once they were discrete.

A teacher in his 40s, who wished to remain anonymous and recently returned to Ireland after living in Dubai for the best part of a decade, said he was “glad” to get home. “You keep to yourself. It wasn’t like Big Brother is watching you but you’re aware that it is there,” he said before taking aim at perceptions of daily life there.

“It is not tax-free living, Dubai will take so much more from you,” he said, adding that various fees and the general cost of living were essentially taxes “by different names and stealth”.

“The price of a pint is €11, rent is going sky high and makes Dublin look relatively affordable. It just takes and takes,” he said, adding that you cannot go anywhere for lunch without going “up and down a motorway”.

His wife, a teacher in her 30s who was born and raised in Dubai, said it was “absolutely fine” for women the majority of the time, “as long as you don’t stand out in a way that is disruptive”. While insisting it is primarily tradition or custom rather than the law which governs how some women live their lives, she described a general prejudice against women by the police force.

She advises non-Emirati friends to always bring an Arabic speaker with them, ideally a man, when reporting a crime and to never do so alone.

Reporting a crime is no simple task, with women scrutinising their outfits and questioning if their clothes might go against their case, she said, while treatment received can vary depending on the class or nationality of the woman.

Radha Stirling, who runs the Detained in Dubai support group which worked with Ms Towey in the UAE, advised that women travelling to Dubai should be made fully aware of how differently the state’s legal system treats those going through relationship or marriage breakdown. UAE law was often “manipulated and misused”, even by men from the UK, Ireland or Germany, “because it’s available to them”, said Ms Stirling.

Men were often advised to take a case against their partner if their wife accused them of domestic abuse, said Ms Stirling. “People do that especially if they know the woman is going to take a charge against them. They will quickly go to the police station and try to be the first one to take the case – the first one is the one the police will take care of, the one they will believe. Police will discourage the woman from taking a case and she might end up being prosecuted for whatever, usually fabricated, allegation he’s made against her.”

Women with children whose marriages break down in Dubai must take extra care as custody orders from Ireland would not be honoured in the UAE, she added.